It’s a New Year! Don’t leap into your goals. Take baby steps.

When I took my first step, I was dressed in a sequin leotard with a pastel pink tutu and had struggling pigtails. It was Halloween, the day after my first birthday. (Yes, I’m a boo baby.)

My parents still have this photograph of me. You can’t see my mom or dad in the photo, but they were elated. I know because they captured the moment on film and saved the picture for over 40 years.

When I was home recently, I saw the photo, and it made me wonder why a baby’s first step is one for the archives—camera, video, but mostly memory.

As adults, we embrace a child’s first step as a defining moment. Our anticipation begs for that first step, and we let children stumble into it. We cheer when they take a wobbled stance. We let them fall. We coach them to get back up. We coax them to try again (and again).

We do this for many children, not necessarily all, because taking that first step is a gateway to growth, and we embrace stumbling into it.

But, as adults, why don’t we view a baby step, a first step, as a defining moment of growth for ourselves?

We often commit to a goal (and a plan) that forces us to leap, sprint, or hurl ourselves forward. We contort or strain ourselves to abide by plans that only permit perfection. “I must run for 30 minutes every day.” Yet, you haven’t even walked in four months. “I must expand my network by attending two networking events weekly.” Yet, your last networking event was six weeks ago (and your boss was there). “I am going to change jobs in two months.” Yet, you haven’t updated your resume or applied for a single job the last three times you’ve said this.

Focusing on perfection denies us the ability to view ourselves as human.

Often, when we commit to a plan of perfection, it indicates that we are setting goals in a scarcity mindset. Our mind concentrates on everything we cannot do or haven’t done—and we overcompensate for it in our plans. Our scarcity mindset convinces us that we can no longer afford to stumble, wobble, or fall. Instead, we try to leap, sprint, and hurl ourselves into the unsustainable abyss to prove that we can do that big thing this time (“I just need to put my mind to it.”).

But a child isn’t thinking of perfection when they take their first step. They don’t even know what perfection is. They are present in the moment of stumbling, wobbling, and falling into that first step—the process it takes to make a change.

---

Thrive Architects’ Coaching and Rest Programs explore goal setting and help you reach your personal and professional goals. We spend considerable time focusing on your mindset before approaching any goal setting activity because your goals expose how you think of yourself.

---

REFLECTION EXERCISE

Whether it is a New Year’s resolution or a resolution on a random Tuesday, how do you step into something new in your life? How can you take baby steps to meet your goal, knowing that each step afterward will lead to growth?

Here are a few steps (pun intended) to help you think about taking baby steps:

1. Create a goal that requires reasonable actions. Your goal means nothing without an actionable, reasonable plan. If your plan does not realistically account for where you are starting, then you don’t have a plan. You have a written wish. You haven’t set yourself up to progress at a steady pace.

ASK YOURSELF: What first step must I take and then get into a consistent cadence? This could look like: I will actively move for 10 minutes daily for the next week if your goal is to become more active 5 days a week for 30 minutes.

2. Make sure your goal is grounded in your belonging. Your goals should be centered on you, your growth, and your impact. Your goal should not be motivated by or tied to people or places that do not fully contemplate your wholeness and well-being.

ASK YOURSELF: How do I structure this goal to meet my expectations instead of the expectations of people I feel the need to prove my worth to constantly? In answering this question, feel free to write a vision statement (1-3 sentences) that explains why you are setting this goal for you. Come back to this statement routinely.

3. Understand that goals are guides. Be attentive to the journey of achieving your goal. The journey tells you more about yourself than the goal ever can. Said differently, you’re not psychic. As you grow on the journey, your goal will likely change.

ASK YOURSELF: What am I learning about myself? What aspects of this journey allow me to feel a greater sense of agency and self-ownership? How do I need to pivot to remain invested in my growth?

4. Recognize you will stumble, wobble, and fall. Plan for it. Making a change in your life will introduce change into your life. You will experience disruption. And when the unexpected confronts you, expect not to get it “right.” Expect to mess up. Expect to become a hot mess at times. But understand that messing up and “failing” is part of the growth cycle. Accept it by adopting a mentality of failing forward.

ASK YOURSELF: How am I feeling at this moment? Once you’ve given yourself time to feel (don’t ignore it), ask: What have I learned about myself from this mistake to move forward?